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Great Lake Swimmers

by Great Lake Swimmers

/
1.
O wake me please when this is over O when the ice has melted away I will be the same but older And maybe twice the bear that I thought I was Where have you been and what have you done I’ve been under the ground Eating prayers from this old book I found Under the ground Saving it up and spending it all On moving pictures, silent films Moving pictures, silent films Or is this the dream I’ve been saving O where the heart beats slower and slower, to almost nothing Almost nothing I took it for love or at least something beautiful Out there in the spotlight But turned around suddenly, turned around squinting And saw that it was headlights And then the truth, the truth was unbearable O and imminent Bearing down on these two shadow animals Caught painting a dotted line Caught painting a dotted line Where have you been and what have you done I’ve been under the ground Eating prayers from this old book I found Under the ground Saving it up and spending it all On moving pictures, silent films Moving pictures, silent films
2.
If I could crawl into a shell, then I wouldn’t mind the weight Things are heavy enough already And I hate to think that the best that I can do is not care at all And I hate to think that I don’t care at all Take a step forward, don’t be afraid Take a step backward, don’t be afraid So go on, and so look back Stuck inside a heavy shell Try to walk and not be pushed And the man with no skin, they would not let him in Would not let him sign up ‘Cause nobody wants to see a beating heart Or a lung, or a brain Used to get so wrapped up, used to get all caught up Now I find myself feeling disillusioned and emotionless Like it’s been betrayed, and this world let me down In a big way And now I feel like a dump ape, picking at fleas, picking at fleas It’s hard to walk with broken legs It gets hard to breathe without lungs It’s hard to love the world without a heart What else should I cut out, where do I start It’s time to grow a second skin to keep the insides in ‘Cause this one is obviously not thick enough It’s time to grow a second skin to keep the insides in Or maybe get some armor and a mask
3.
I can’t write, I can’t sing, I can’t play My insides have been broken My inspiration has flown away And it’s hard to see all the little things There’s a universe in a crack in the wall Or an ant crawling across a broken tile But it’s hard to see all the little things When the big things get in the way I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t think straight I did not know it could be like this Some things are better off being left alone There are things that are best left unknown Oh hands, don’t fail me now They’re the only things I have left Oh fingers, don’t let me down know They’re the only things that I’ve got Oh world come, come crashing down now Oh hands don’t fail me now Oh let me become deaf and mute to this Oh hands don’t fail me now I’m carrying my life in a cardboard box I carry a bag on my back I’m carrying my life in a cardboard box I carry a bag on my back Oh hands, don’t fail me now They’re the only things that I’ve got Oh fingers, don’t let me down know Oh hands don’t fail me now Oh animals fall down around me Oh hands don’t fail me now Oh fingers, don’t let me down know Oh hands don’t fail me now
4.
Merge, a vessel, a harbour, a perfect union of gift and reception Each an eye on the same face, of loss and gain Fly into the mouth of the ground, six feet under Thanks to some failure Fly into the mouth of the ground, six feet under One for the light, and one for the dark Taste each other for a moment and combine Polarized, share the same air O lay it down, O lay it bare Speechless, naked as a fiery sunset Eternal but fleeting, destroyed but complete In perfect cacophony, rising like vapour Solid and liquid, awkward, intrepid Stolen but paid for Legs and knees, and ankles and toes When it burns, and oh, when it flows Legs and knees, and ankles and toes When it burns, and oh, when it flows Gathered and strewn, from this altitude To some other moon, wearing false armor And useless shields that fail to exist Crying out into the streets, that are always prepared for the cry Prepared for the worst, crying out loud but the noise is absorbed They are transfixed, but untransformed A stark accommodating echo, into these hard-pressed streets Into these well-traveled streets Into these hard-pressed streets
5.
I will never see the sun, Spadina, St. George, Bay, and Yonge One for nothing, all for one, Spadina, St. George, Bay, and Yonge Hey you look like royalty, weren’t you born with muddy feet Hoarse, in high tops, totally lost, those two streets will never meet I will never see the sun, Spadina, St. George, Bay, and Yonge One for nothing, all for one, Spadina, St. George, Bay, and Yonge So the map says you are here, waltzing through the garbage piles Sweating like a weather’s vein, coughing thunder, sneezing rain I will never see the sun, Spadina, St. George, Bay, and Yonge One for nothing, all for one, Spadina, St. George, Bay, and Yonge There’s a rag just up the street, eats his history to keep warm Got some blankets, got some bags, screams confessions, shouts in vain I will never see the sun, Spadina, St. George, Bay, and Yonge One for nothing, all for one, Spadina, St. George, Bay, and Yonge
6.
In from the oceans they came, a vision, a shirt, and a name But these lands, they are wild, and these hands, they are tame Don’t forget your own, a wilderness wish that gets buried in snow Call it home, it’s lumber and stone, trapped, stranded and free This is not like home, this is not like home When you feel alone in a world that’s not your own Not at all, not at all Not at all, not at all Not at all, not at all Awake at the break of the day It’s work and it brings in the pay There’s a lonely dirt road leading back through the trees There’s a wagon that takes them away Don’t forget your own, the wilderness wish that gets buried in snow Call it home, it’s lumber and stone, trapped, stranded and free This is not like home, this is not like home This is not like home, this is not like home
7.
Watching the night animal, bellying close to the ground I was walking in the dark, it was following some feral scent Like I was, crossing the road, like I was Following those streets to their destinations And the animals of the world And the animals of the world Find theirs And when the wind stops, we all stop, and we are silent And in the end, we all will bend, we will break away From the outset, we are moths around a porch-light We’re coloured in jars, or pinned to a wall Dried out and displayed, tired out and dismayed From riding on the winds, or biding the tides Riding the winds, or biding the tides Flying with the sun or perched in a row I was at the window sill They were unaware, like I was A moment there, and then gone, like I was Looking for a place to rest And the animals of the world And the animals of the world Find theirs And when the wind stops, we all stop, and we are silent And in the end, we all will bend, we will break away From the outset, we are moths around a porch-light We’re coloured in jars, or pinned to a wall Dried out and displayed, tired out and dismayed From riding on the wheels, or biding the streets Riding the wheels, or biding the streets
8.
As I sit here on this curb, in the middle of the night With my guitar in my hands, playing a lonely midnight song A stranger approaches me and says, “why do you play” And I answer him “This parking lot and whatever lies in its dark corners Or down its dark alleyways, is my audience And this song is for this night And all that comes with it, and all that belongs to it “I play for the stars, and the immobile cars The stray cats and telephone lines And the old dumpster bins They will all receive me, they will not turn me away They will listen with kind ears, they will listen with kind ears” And I shiver in the cool air And my guitar echoes against the backs of sleeping buildings And my faithful night still listens And my faithful night still listens I play for the stars, and the immobile cars The stray cats and telephone lines And the old dumpster bins They will all receive me, they will not turn me away They will listen with kind ears, they will listen with kind ears O listen with kind ears
9.
First day, I was lost at sea, I had nothing to eat But I thought home was near I found myself in an unfamiliar place My first night on an unfamiliar tide Second day, I woke up, had almost forgotten I had never thought to try on different coloured robes, and I was face down in the In the sand, and I was Lucky to be alive, lucky to have survived And on the third day, I was weak so I Collapsed on the beach, and I died of hunger And when they found me, they saw how much that I had changed, I had I had changed, I had I have changed, I have I have changed, I have I have changed, I have I have changed, I have
10.
The currents want to pull you down The bottom is empty, invisible Where is the shore, O I can’t see it anymore Feeling so tired, have to keep floating The bottom is so far, the shore is so far away The finish line is out of sight, I won’t give up without a fight It’s such a long swim The waves are coming at full force And even though I thrash about, it only makes it worse I only get more tired Have I gotten out so far, I don't know where the boat docks are And the moon just laughs at me, a sickle in a cotton veil Will I make it though this gale It’s such a long swim It’s such a long swim, it’s such a long swim It’s such a long swim, it’s such a long swim I was standing on a pier, wasn’t very far from here Nothing but the water sounds, and if I had it in a glass I would drink it down and laugh, I would laugh and drink it down The water is so pure tonight, it brings you life yet it makes you drown The fish must be laughing I have seen the boats of steel, and I have used a fishing reel I am bobbing like a cork in this never-ending dark I am soaked from toe to chin, I will not let the water in Is there any use at all to fight against this heavy tide Will it take me in its stride It’s such a long swim It’s such a long swim, it’s such a long swim It’s such a long swim, it’s such a long swim I was sitting in the sand, waves were tumbling with the wind They pulled him out, they pulled him in The stretcher brought him back again The sirens let the swimmers know, not to wrestle undertows It’s such a long swim Now there is no sign of land, the breakers are behind me now Splashing in a hopeless flow, far above the muddy sand Will I dry off on the rocks, will I ever see the docks The beacons must have all burned out I am flooded with this doubt It’s such a long swim It’s such a long swim, it’s such a long swim It’s such a long swim, it’s such a long swim It’s such a long swim, it’s such a long swim It’s such a long swim, it’s such a long swim

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released March 6, 2003

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Great Lake Swimmers Toronto, Ontario

Tony Dekker’s music spans two decades as the lead singer and songwriter of Great Lake Swimmers. Over eight albums, multiple EPs, live shows and reissues, the Toronto-based group with a revolving cast of players has established itself as a beloved indie folk act in their native Canada and beyond. Great Lake Swimmers was shortlisted for the Polaris Prize and nominated twice for the Juno Awards. ... more

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